It's your day today. Take a minute and stop being so hard on yourself. You're not a naive little teenager anymore (you haven't been for a long, long time) so feel comfort in knowing that even though things are not at all how you expected, you're getting somewhere even if it doesn't feel like it. Honestly, when you were younger, you never thought much about what it would be like to reach this age. One thing was for sure: you often had 90s kid "visions" of your future grown-up self wearing jeans and a blue chunky knit sweater while running errands in a little red sports convertible car. It's funny to think about now. Not only do you not have a red convertible car, you don't even have a car at the moment. AND, these days, you wouldn't choose a red convertible if given the choice.
Life at this very moment- from here and for all the upcoming tomorrows- is so unpredictable. When you were a teen, you never once thought about death or how fragile life is. You also never thought about how easy it is to stand in your own way. You're making plans but you're more than prepared to bend them. You are making progress even if you are taking baby steps. You are so much stronger than you believe. What really matters most is how you feel about yourself at the end of each day- and remember, keep trying to live a life in which should someone have anything bad to say about you, no one would believe it. Celebrate another year of life- I love you so much.